Starcrossed
by BrDPirateMan
Summary: Neku leads a blissful life: he has a great group of friends, every day is an adventure, and he has a massive crush on Shiki. However, this bliss would not last long. Something wrong is happening to Shiki... Warning: This will be a sad story.
1. Chapter 1

**Starcrossed (Part 1)  
**by BrDPirateMan

"Booyah! It's Saturday!"

Beat's especially loud voice rang out through the streets. A few people turned to stare at the sight of a slightly crazy boy yelling for the world to hear, but he didn't care. He was happy that another grueling week of school had gone by.

Though, yeah, it was embarrassing to say the least.

"Beat, stop shouting, man," I groaned.

"Yeah," agreed Eri, a palm on her forehead. "I mean, we're in a public place and all."

"But we just had a buncha tests this week, yo!" Beat said, "You know how much I hate exams, man!"

Eri heaved an exasperated sigh. "That's still no valid reason to shout like a maniac, Beat…"

As stupid as the whole situation was, I was actually glad on the inside that I had the opportunity to hang out with such wonderful friends. There was the resident motor-mouth Beat, whose love for curry knew no bounds. His little sister Rhyme was sweet, precocious and was always ready to help people in need. And as popular as dude magnet Eri was, thanks in no small part to her good looks and awe-inspiring clothes, she wasn't stuck-up and had a great personality too.

But the person whom I enjoyed being around with the most was Shiki. At a glance most would describe her as an ordinary-looking girl. But when I got to know her I was struck by her inner self which, while not perfect, was pleasant and endearing. Thanks to her experience with me in the UG, she changed herself for the better, her confidence now boosted and her head held high. That was probably why I grew more and more attracted to her…

This was a girl I knew I really, really liked. To heck with those didn't think much of her. Sure, compared with her best friend Eri she wasn't as beautiful, but she most definitely was not ugly at all. Beneath those oversized glasses and the unassuming clothes she was fond of, she was awfully cute.

We had known each other for a good while now, about half a year to be exact. There was never a time when she wasn't at ease with me, and I was confident that she harboured some feelings for me, as did I for her. One of these days, I promised myself, I would tell her what I truly felt for her. But try as I might, getting myself to say those three magic words had proven to be a big challenge. Because every time I found the courage, it would be hopelessly crushed to a pulp just before the moment of truth. I seriously wondered when we could finally be together.

Little did I know that time was running out…

"Hey, Neku," asked Rhyme, interrupting my train of thoughts. "Where's Shiki?"

"Oh yeah, that…" I said, scratching the back of my head, "Well, she can't make it today. She said we should carry on without her."

"What?" Beat looked disappointed. "Aw, man! I was hoping for the five of us to go watch that awesome movie together… I mean, it's Saturday and all…"

"I didn't know about this," said Eri, fiddling with her pink hair, something she always did. "She didn't tell me… Did something happen?" Her voice was one of genuine concern. Anything about her bosom buddy was of utmost importance to her.

"Shiki asked me to tell you guys…" I paused for a few seconds before telling the whole story.

XOXOXOXOXO

It was Friday and classes had ended for the day, with students rushing out of the school compounds welcoming the weekend with open arms. Beat tore down the sidewalk on his battered but trusty skateboard, hurrying to fetch his sister Rhyme from her school. Eri couldn't hang around at all either; her strict parents would freak if she returned home too late.

Shiki and I were the only ones taking it slow and easy. I was walking her back home, having fun talking to her about the hilarious things that happened throughout the week. Her laughter was music to my ears. She was so adorable.

All of our friends had long scattered, and the streets of Shibuya were pretty unpopulated save for a few souls. Everyone was at home or in restaurants busy tucking into their lunch, and with practically nobody around, I was tempted to drape an arm around Shiki's shoulder… That would be nice. I was sure she would like it too.

Before I could even move my arm, however, Shiki turned to me and spoke.

"Hey, Neku, um… I almost forgot to tell you something."

"What is it, Shiki?"

The ghost of a frown marred her pretty face. "You know how we all agreed to meet up tomorrow? To watch _Samurai Squad_?"

"Yeah… What about it?" I wasn't comfortable with the sudden change in her mood. What was it that she had to say?

"Well," she said, chewing her bottom lip a little, "It turns out that I've got an appointment to see the doctor tomorrow… so I'm sorry but I don't think I'll be able to come with you guys. You go on ahead without me."

_The doctor? For what purpose?_

"Oh well, things aren't the same without you," I sighed, a bit sad. "But it can't be helped… So you just do what you need to do, Shiki. I'll tell the others."

"Yes, please do."

I shoved my hands deep into my pockets. "Is it anything serious?" I asked, "This is kinda sudden."

Shiki averted my gaze by looking at the ground. Her voice came out soft and barely audible. "I… I don't know…"

What? That piqued my curiosity, put me on high alert. That tone of voice certainly wasn't something she normally used. Of course I never expected anyone to be happy all the time, but the fact that she seemed sad was troubling. And if she was, I wanted to comfort her as best as I could.

I stood before her and placed my hands on her shoulders. She gasped, looking up at me sharply. I had never touched her like that before, and the effect of my sudden action was obvious on her. She was starting to blush, and for that matter, so was I…

"Shiki, um…" I started to say, noting that she was trembling very slightly under my fingertips. "If there's anything wrong, you can tell me."

"Oh, well, it's nothing serious." The redness on her face was deepening. She looked cute like this, I had to admit…

"Are you sure? But you seemed down, you know."

She put on a forced smile. It was convincing for the most part but it was still a forced smile. I could tell. "No, it's nothing at all," she said, "Just a routine medical check-up.

"But, Neku…" Shiki had this dewy look in her eyes as she looked straight into mine. "I'm so glad you're concerned about my welfare."

My heart thumped against my ribcage. To be complimented by the girl of my dreams was great. "Well, just be sure the doctor's not perverted," I joked, "and if he is, tell me and I'll go right over and kick his butt!"

Shiki giggled. Her melodious voice made me feel a little better. For a moment, even for a few seconds, the world seemed alright again. "Thanks, Neku. But I'll be okay. Now come on, let's get back home."

XOXOXOXOXO

"Oh, so that's what's going on," said a nodding Eri when I had finished. "She's gone for a check-up."

"Well, at least it's nothing to be worried about!" sighed Rhyme in relief. "For a moment there, I thought something terrible happened to her… touch wood!"

Beat scratched the back of his head absent-mindedly. "Aight, but then… what happens now? You sure she okay about us goin' ahead without her?"

"She did say that herself," I said, shrugging a little.

"Still, the jigsaw ain't complete," Eri piped up in a moment of poetic inspiration. How fitting it was.

That was how only the four of us took our places in the darkened cinema, waiting impatiently for all those unnecessary advertisements to finish so that we could finally get down to watching _Samurai Squad_.

Then a confused Beat whispered to us urgently. "So then, after we watch the movie, do we tell Shiki about it, or jus' keep quiet so we don't spoil the surprise? Yo?"

That was kind of a good question. I _did_ feel guilty enjoying myself when I knew clearly well that Shiki was at the doctor's. The atmosphere just was not the same without even one of us, and as a result, while the action-packed, katana-laden movie was exciting, it didn't feel as fun.

XOXOXOXOXO

Shiki's words echoed in my mind. _I… I don't know…_

She had tried to act all nonchalant and relaxed when she said that, but I had known her long enough for my gut feeling to tell me that something was amiss. Something was wrong, but she couldn't bring herself to fill me in on the details. I was growing worried to the point where all I could think of was her and nothing else. That was when I knew that I simply had to talk to her.

But all that I heard at the other end of the line when I called her was the dial tone.

Perhaps she had left her cell phone off, I had reasoned. But then it soon dawned on me that she simply wasn't answering. For what reason, I didn't know…

…but I had to find out soon.

XOXOXOXOXO

Blue Monday. No one likes Mondays. This one was no exception. Everyone came to school grumpy and groggy, wishing for those extra ten minutes of sleep their parents would never grant them.

However, for me it was a different story. I was actually eager to come. Not because I suddenly and inexplicably developed a liking for classes; for one thing, I didn't like Ms Kanako, the slave driver of a math teacher.

But I had tried to call Shiki the whole of yesterday without any luck so I figured that the only way I could get any information out of her was to see her directly. She would _have_ to come for classes, right?

As luck would have it, she didn't come.

Her seat lay empty and horribly bare. My friends were puzzled. Beat, Eri and I were hanging around her seat during recess.

"I wonder what's happened to her," mused Eri, seating herself on top of Shiki's desk, her legs dangling in mid-air as she languidly swung them to and fro.

Beat, being one not to overanalyze things, simply said, "Well, maybe she's jus' home sick, ya know?"

"Yeah, that's probably it," came my absent-minded reply. Sometimes I wished I could have Beat's simple way of thinking. That way, I wouldn't need to be so worried.

No matter how much I tried to convince myself that one day off from school simply wasn't enough to show that something was wrong, I could only think otherwise. Try as I might, the dreadful feeling weighed down stubbornly on my shoulders.

Eri clapped a hand on my shoulder, startling me. "Hey," she said, "You all right, Neku?"

"Wha? Oh, of course I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You look like you have a lot on your mind," said Eri sagely. Then a wide cheeky smile started to spread on her lips. "I'll bet it's got something to do with Shiki."

Damn, she saw right through me! "What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded. Beat was chuckling softly at my reaction. Was I blushing? "Why would you think that anyway?"

"Because you're her husband?" Eri looked off to the skies nonchalantly, acting innocent as ever.

"Husband? Wait, wait, we're not even going out. We're just – "

"Aw come on, man," guffawed Beat, "It's so obvious, yo. The way you look at her… anybody can see you like her."

This wasn't the first time my friends made fun of me about Shiki. The truth is while I did have feelings for her, it just was too embarrassing letting said feelings be known to all. My secret crush on Shiki would remain as that – a secret – until the time was right.

Beat's laughter, coupled with Eri's giggling, was getting annoying. So I did the one thing that he hated the most…

"Hey, can it, Daisukenojo."

"BWAAAH! Whatchu say, yo!" he spluttered, "Dontchu say my real name!"

I ended up getting a noogie on my head as he held me in a headlock. Eri, in the meantime, only laughed harder at the comical situation that unfolded before her. Oh well, at least Shiki wasn't the central topic now.

"Okay, let's all settle down," Eri gasped, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "But seriously, I'm concerned about Shiki." She frowned and her face turned serious all of a sudden. "I tried calling her just now, but she didn't answer."

Beat released me from his stifling grip. As I gasped for much-needed air, he said, "You did? The girl forgot to turn on her cell, right? That's prolly it, yo."

Again, I wished things were that simple.

XOXOXOXOXO

Shiki's seat was vacant the next day. It remained empty on Wednesday and Thursday, and she was still nowhere to be seen by the end of the day on Friday.

As my mind repeatedly conjured up horrible thoughts about her fate, my whole body seemed to slow down and weaken from the stress of intense worry. More than once I thought that it might have been possible that she had died, and the reason she was missing was because she was participating in the Reapers' Game… again. Then I would tell myself, _No, that's ridiculous. Shiki isn't that weak. She's a strong girl._ Still, I needed confirmation that she was fine, that she was alive and well, but with every phone call I made that went unanswered, my sanity slipped away little by little.

She just didn't want to pick up the darn phone! My heart was mired in a sludge of emotions: worry, frustration, sadness…

Eri stared at Shiki's vacant chair at school and shook her head in dismay. It must be painful being ignored by her own best friend, a fact I could more or less confirm from the way she sighed so heavily.

Beat and Rhyme were affected too. With Shiki's situation currently unknown and unknowable, there was nothing either of the Bito siblings could do to alleviate the gloom that hung over all of us like a thundercloud. Beat was usually the one who cracked the jokes, and while they weren't smart most of the time, the way he guffawed at his own brand of poor humour was so infectious that it was impossible not to laugh together with him.

Crippled by anxiety, however, Beat hardly had the wits to even come up with a corny one-liner.

We were hanging around the Statue of Hachiko, a place that held many memories for me. A good five minutes was spent doing nothing but making small talk, a huge departure from the often chatty exchanges the five of us made. Except… now there were only four of us.

At last, tired of being in the dark for so long, Eri put her foot down and made a decision.

"Okay, that's it, guys. We simply _have_ to find out what is going on with Shiki," she announced, lips pursed in determination. "So we are going over to her apartment right now to ask her directly."

To be honest, I felt that Eri's idea was a good one. Beat seemed to second it from the way he was nodding in agreement, but Rhyme, being the most sensible one amongst us, thought otherwise.

"But Shiki's been ignoring our calls," she reasoned, mature for her thirteen years of age. "I don't think she really wants to be disturbed, you know."

"I know about that," Eri snapped, impatient and slightly cross. "But she's been MIA for almost a week. Isn't that enough to make you think something's wrong already? We must know about it!"

Rhyme gripped the back of her neck uneasily. "Hmmm… you have a point," she muttered, "Still…" She still seemed uncomfortable with the idea of barging into Shiki's home, even if it was to care about her.

"Come on, Rhyme," I said, trying to convince her, "Aren't you worried about Shiki? Sure, what we're gonna do is a bit rude, but I think the time has come to get our questions answered."

"Let's go to her place," Eri said, taking the lead. Finally we were getting somewhere in this little mystery.

However, if we didn't already know the shocking truth that lay in wait for us, we'd be forgiven for making such a brash act…

XOXOXOXOXO

_Knock knock knock._

Eri's manicured fingertips rapped against the wooden door rapidly. Our party of four waited with bated breath for it to open. Actually, when it came down to it, we were really and quite literally waiting for the door of truth to open to us.

"I hope she wouldn't be mad at us," gulped Rhyme.

"Don't worry, yo," said Beat, "We jus' asking her. No biggie, right?"

There was no response. All was eerily quiet behind the door.

"What's going on?" I wondered aloud. I honestly wished I had X-ray vision so I could see what was happening at her home. A weird thought came to mind, though: what if I had said ability, but she was changing and totally indecent at that time? Blood rushed to my face as all manner of perverted fantasies surfaced forth. I tried to shake them off, but it was tough. The mental image of cute, lovable Shiki clad in nothing but a bra and panties was not an easy thing to forget about in just a few seconds, especially when she had in all truth a rather nice figure…

"Dammit, Shiki…" cursed Eri under her breath, more anxious than angry. "Don't just ignore us like this…" She was sick of being sick with worry.

"C-Calm down, Eri," I whispered, half-frightened that she'd break the door down with her bare hands.

She shot me a quick annoyed scowl. "I am already calm, Neku!" she hissed, jabbing me in the arm with her finger. It hurt. "Look, I… I'm okay, okay?." Oh yeah, she was definitely calm. With the ridges in her brow and the bulging vein on her temple.

Sensing no further response in the next ten seconds, Eri was about to tap her knuckles on the door again when it opened ajar. Slowly and excruciatingly painfully. A lone figure stood meekly in the space, half of her face visible. Eri's clenched hand froze in mid-air. It was Shiki.

"Shiki!" Eri cried, her voice full of emotion. Then, seeing the slight frown on her best friend's face, she softened her approach. "Um, Shiki, sorry for coming here on such short notice, but… we've been worried about you."

"You been absent from classes a whole week, yo," said Beat a tad too directly. I cringed a little from his bluntness. He wasn't mean, he just lacked tact… that's just the way he is, and we were all used to it.

Trying to take away the sting of his demand, I said gently, "We wondered what happened to you. In fact, I've been trying to call you all this time."

Shiki could only stare at the floor in sadness.

"Please," I pleaded. "We need to know."

"We're your friends, Shiki," said Rhyme. "Shouldn't friends support one another?"

"You're not an island," Eri chipped in. "If you've got a problem, give us a holler and we'll come running!" She placed Shiki's hands in hers, squeezing them a little too tightly.

Shiki seemed to remain unmoved, the look of sadness on her face perpetual and unchanging.

"Um, well, that is if you're willing, of course," I added hastily. I wanted to know what was going on, but having to bother her like this made me feel terrible.

She opened her mouth to speak at last. "I kind of expected it'd come to this," she mumbled in defeat. "To tell you the truth, guys, I'm not in the mood to talk… or see anyone… Sorry, I know you are my closest pals. But… not telling you the truth would be unfair, wouldn't it?"

The door opened fully. "Please come in," she said, in a monotone very much unlike her usual chirpy voice. "Make yourselves at home… My parents are out. I'll get you some tea."

She was like a totally different person altogether. What happened to the old Shiki we all loved? The Shiki we knew wouldn't greet us with a dull, robotic demeanour.

Soon all five of us were seated in the living room, sipping tea. Except Beat, who didn't like tea that much, if at all. He expertly lifted the lip of his cup to his mouth and pretended to drink. The silence in the room was overpowering… choking the very air.

"So, Shiki," I began hesitantly, afraid that she would clam up if I said the wrong thing and upset her. "Like I said, we're kinda wondering... I mean, at the very least, we want to know if you're alright. It's not like you to be like this, you know…"

She took a long sip from her tea, the evaporation misting up her glasses. A depressed sigh escaped from her lips. Every one of us waited with our hearts in our throats.

"You're really perceptive, guys," she said, devoid of energy. "You could say I'm not feeling well."

"Whatchu down with, yo?" asked Beat. "The flu?"

"No. If it was the flu, I would actually be thankful. Because I can actually recover from it."

"Are you saying you're suffering from some condition that can't be cured easily?" Eri pressed without probing too much into her friend's feelings.

"Y-Yeah…"

"What is it, Shiki?" My knuckles turned white, waiting for her answer. What was it that was so bad that she would want to skip classes for a week?

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes…"

"Well, this may be a bit too much for you to handle, but… if I must…"

Her eyes were starting to well up with tears unshed. She tried to hide this from us, although unsuccessfully, by taking another sip of her hot tea and using her fogged-up glasses as camouflage. They cleared up soon enough though. She spoke again, and when she did, it was the most shocking, earth-shattering thing we had ever heard.

"I…" Shiki choked, "I've got cancer."

The four of us gasped. The news felt like a huge slap to the face. Like a huge anvil was dropped on us.

"Cancer?" Eri yelped. "You have… cancer?"

"During my medical check-up on Saturday," explained Shiki, "the doctor found that something was wrong with my physical endurance, and, well, my health in general. Anyway, long story short, they found out I have bone cancer."

"B-Bone cancer…" The words merely rattled out of my mouth, dry and laboured.

"For real, Shiki?" Rhyme asked, pale and stunned.

"How bad is it?" I demanded, "Is it very serious?"

Shiki hung her head in sorrow. A tear had already rolled down her cheek, and she swiftly caught it on her sleeve. "I… The doctor… He gave me three months to live."

"BWAAAH! What?" Beat's reaction earned him an angry glare on the arm from his sister, causing him to apologise to everyone profusely. He sure knew how to act inappropriately... Then he simply mumbled, "No way, yo… No way."

"Why three months?" I asked stupidly.

"My bone cancer is already in its advanced stages," she said, avoiding eye contact with me. "It's spreading quickly throughout my body… And I'm getting weaker and weaker as I speak… I fear I don't have much time left…"

"So you haven't been coming to class because you need to rest?" asked Eri, getting an affirmative nod from Shiki.

"It's so unfair!" Shiki wailed, hands balled into fists. "It's only been a year since we first got together and now this happens!" She removed her glasses and cried into her free hand. "There are still… so many things… so many we haven't done together…"

Her choked sobs filled the air. Without a word, Eri shuffled closer to her friend and gave her a reassuring hug. Shiki clung onto her with a vice-like grip, crying into her shoulder.

"Let it out, Shiki," whispered Eri, patting her head in their embrace. "Just… let it out. You need this much." Faced with the reality that she may lose her best buddy in a few months' time, she began to weep too. Tears were threatening to stream down her cheeks. She let them. Rhyme went over to wrap her arms around both Eri and Shiki, while Beat tried to hide his watering eyes under the shadow of his beanie. My own protective shield came down too.

I wanted to imagine that this was all a very bad and tasteless prank. I wished that we were all on some kind of practical joke TV show right now. But Shiki didn't suddenly laugh and shout "Gotcha!", and the door didn't burst open to reveal some flamboyant host shoving a cine camera in our faces.

No. None of it happened. It was real. It was happening.

No matter how much I hated it, I couldn't ignore that the girl of my dreams was going to die in only three months. When I thought back to the few occasions when Shiki invited me to go shopping with her, and I politely refused because I was just too tired or plain lazy, a tsunami of guilt washed over me. I should have spent more time with her! My heart was drowned in regret, trapped in the quicksand of despair.

"Shiki," I said quietly, "We're here for you. Lean on us."

Without releasing her grip on Eri, Shiki turned to look at me with puffy eyes. "Neku…"

"Whatever happens, Shiki, we'll see you through it. We're the best of friends."

"But I'm going to…" she mumbled, forlorn, "In three months, I'll be…"

"Shiki," I said, not caring that a tear had dribbled down my face, "You know? We should be living in the now."

"What do you mean?"

My friends looked at me, perplexed by my absurd philosophy.

"We haven't had the chance to do so many of the things that we all planned to do," I said, wiping my damp cheek. "so why don't we just go ahead with the plans we put off for so long?"

Eri made a small grin. "You know, Neku, that is a fantastic idea." She cleared her throat. "Guys, Shiki, what Neku says is correct. We've always been busy with our schedules that we haven't gotten round to actually carrying out the plans we wanted to discuss."

Rhyme scratched her cheek a little. "Plans, huh… Do you mean like the trip to Okinawa, or…"

"Yes! That's right! The Okinawa trip… we've been planning that for some time now and we never actually did it… And going to that sushi bar together, and the…"

"Ho yeah, I hear ya!" Beat piped up, pumping his fist enthusiastically. "Why not? We all go together and have fun, yo! Shiki, how about it? Better'n mopin' about the cancer stuff, right?"

"But," Shiki's meek voice broke in. "But what's the point? I… It's all over. I can't... I can't go on…"

This wasn't the Shiki that I wanted to see. I liked her smile, her laugh, even the way she gushed non-stop about The Prince. Sure, there were times when she chose to be quiet and reserved, but she was a happy girl and a lot of fun to have as a friend. Seeing her as a shadow of her former self, I couldn't stand it. The chatty, lively Shiki had to come back.

I swiftly swooped down before her, dropping to my knees so she could look at me up close. My hand found hers and I grabbed it tightly. Shiki jumped and grew red in the face. Eri, startled by my sudden action, leaped away a bit. Everyone was wide-eyed and wondered what I was doing. Had I gone mad, they must have wondered?

Never mind if it appeared for all the world like I was proposing to Shiki. But she was in a state of debilitating sadness, and if Eri and the rest couldn't lift her spirits, it was up to me to say the right words and return things to normal.

"Shiki," I began, gazing directly into brown tear-soaked orbs, "I understand how important it is to be worried about what will happen. But if you keep worrying like this, you'll be missing out on a lot."

She blinked. "I… I'm just…" Unable to find a suitable counter-argument, she let that last sentence die off, allowing me to speak again. The others listened on in silence.

"Well, I don't like to overcomplicate things," I said, "but basically what we should be doing more is living in the now. We may remember the past and look to the future, but it's also important to never forget about the present, right?"

"Like Beat put it," said Eri, catching on quickly, "there's no point moping all day long. There are better things to do!"

Shiki bit her lip and stared at the floor for a few seconds. By the look on her face, it seemed like she finally understood.

"Carpe diem," quipped Rhyme succinctly, "I'm sure you know what that means, right, Shiki?"

That was when I was rewarded. With a smile. _Her _smile. Shiki smiled at last, nodding weakly but surely.

"Thanks guys," she sniffled, her self-pity dissipating, "Yeah, between being sad and having fun, I'd rather choose the latter. So… what was it you were planning to do again?"

Eri almost shouted in incredible fervour, "The hot springs! I always wanted for us all to go to the hot springs! And then there's the –"

"BWAAAH! Hot springs?" Beat cringed, gulping obviously from the thought of imagining the girls – minus his sister – dressed in only towels. I had trouble containing my own male urges myself. Though I had to admit it would be nice to see Shiki in a yukata...


	2. Chapter 2

**Starcrossed (Part 2)  
**by BrDPirateMan

Shiki recovered from her sadness quite admirably, and we went about our daily lives like nothing happened. On hindsight, it was strange that despite the knowledge of Shiki being far from well, everything seemed so normal. We were glad it was normal, though. That's how we wanted it.

Although we were concerned about her health, there was never a time when the topic of cancer came up. We did ask her if she was feeling better once in a while, and when she felt slightly lethargic during our shopping trips we would all take the opportunity to eat at a fast-food restaurant or ramen shop to wait for her to regain her strength. But there was the mutual feeling between us that not mentioning anything about her ongoing battle with cancer was all for the better.

We did have a lot of fun, though. Aside from hanging out and chilling like most teenagers do, we did many other things together. Eri got us all tickets to the latest movie based off of the Tin Pin franchise, and true to her resourcefulness, she managed to nab us good seats, near the front row though not too near. And when up-and-coming J-Pop band "K Bunnies" held their debut concert at A-East, all five of us were present to watch the ambitious entrepreneur-cum-singer Princess K in action. It was a blast of a time; I was so glad Shiki just went wild with her fangirl screams. It was good to know she was making an effort to truly live life as it should be lived.

One of the highlights of our time with Shiki was, and it embarrasses me to say this, the trip to the hot springs of Kyoto. We stayed at some inn with a hot spring, and apart from the table tennis and good food there was the natural spa itself, which was the main highlight. I didn't know how Eri, Beat and Rhyme did it, but to make a long story short they managed to isolate Shiki and I in the mixed section.

I tried to relax in the bubbling warm bath, but it was so very difficult for two reasons: Shiki was sitting so close to me, and she was completely naked below the surface. More than once I tried to sneak a peek at her body, but the churning water made it impossible to see anything. She felt very awkward too, hardly calm at all knowing that I was as unclothed as she was. Without our other friends around to keep us company, not much was spoken between us. We simply sat there suppressing our urges as best as we could. But I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it…

Finally the week before she was scheduled to undergo chemotherapy had arrived. Time flew by so fast that I hardly felt anything. It was only when I was reminded of her next treatment session that I started to panic.

All this time I had not even told Shiki how I felt towards her. Time was running out. I had to at least let her know… And if she happened to like me too, it would be cruel of me to not take the initiative.

I remember that day crystal-clear. There wasn't anything particularly interesting to be done, and there was nothing planned, so Eri stalked off to 104 Building while Beat and Rhyme went back home, leaving Shiki and I alone at Miyashita Park to reminisce about old times.

"Sure has been a crazy journey, huh?" I said casually, leaning back on the bench.

"Yeah," agreed Shiki, tilting her head to feel the breeze in her face. "It was one heck of a ride from start to finish."

"D-Don't say 'finish', Shiki…" I corrected her gently, "That sounds a bit… well, it doesn't sound very nice, does it?"

"Oh yeah, you're right. Sorry about that."

"No biggie."

There were some guys zipping around the park on their skateboards, performing ollies and various other stunts. We watched them for a while, commenting about how cool they looked. Shiki was visibly worried that they might hurt themselves if they fell down on the hard concrete, but no less impressed by their repertoire of tricks.

"Hey, Shiki," I said, when I grew tired of watching the skateboarders.

"Hmm?"

"So what's your plan now? I hate to bring it up, but I'm just asking." I didn't want to utter the word "cancer" if I could help it.

She understood what I meant. "I'll just carry on with my life. No point thinking too much. I gotta live in the now, like you said, right Neku? But I'm ready to tackle any challenges that present themselves to me, should that happen."

"You'll be alright," I told her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder in an affectionate gesture. "Because I know how strong you really are."

"Ah! Uh… Th-Thanks…" For a second or two I wondered why her cheeks were beginning to heat up. She was staring pointedly at the ground between her feet, refusing to look my way. Did I say the wrong thing? Or was it the other way around, in the sense that what I said she found extremely touching? I hoped it was the second situation.

I asked her anyway. "Shiki? Is anything wrong?"

"No, nothing!" she answered, her stare unwavering. "Nothing at all… Just…"

"Yes?"

"C-Can you hold me like this for a little longer?" That was when I saw my arm still draped around her lithe, delicate frame. She didn't mind me doing this? _Hmmm, I'll take that as a good sign…_ I let my arm be. To my surprise and much to my delight she shifted closer towards me.

"I'm sorry, Neku, I just need a hug," she said, snuggling into my shoulder. "I mean, if I come across as weird or anything…"

"Weird? No! It's perfectly normal. We're friends, right? What's wrong with friends leaning on each other?" Her cheeks grew redder, and it was starting to rub off on me. From afar our faces so close together must have looked like a pair of cherries.

_Wow_ was the first thought that came to mind. Her body was actually touching mine… It felt so warm, so irresistible. But wait a minute… didn't she say she needed a hug? Was her mind troubled? I could more or less guess the reason.

"Is something bothering you, Shiki?" I asked, stroking her shoulder softly.

She nodded sadly. _Just as I thought…_ She absent-mindedly rested her hand on my knee seemingly in a bid for more comfort. "I feel so lethargic these days, even more so than usual. This can no doubt be due to my worsening condition… And next week I'm up for chemotherapy."

"Chemotherapy, huh…"

"I'm gonna lose all my hair…" she sighed, a grey cloud hanging above her. The issue of her declining health suddenly became even more serious. I knew that cancer wasn't an easy thing to suppress and it would never completely go away. Would radiation treatment really help her hang on to life a bit longer? But even if it did, it would make her extremely weak. Things weren't looking so good now. We made it a point not to pay too much attention to it… but was it the right thing to do?

Shiki turned away to hide her tears, dabbing her eyes on her jacket sleeve. I couldn't bear to leave her like this.

"Even if you lose all your hair, you're still you, Shiki. No one can deny that."

"But…"

"Come now, we're not so shallow as to abandon you if that happens."

"Well... I guess…" She began to relax a little.

"And if you're really _that_ worried, I'll buy you a hat."

The smallest of giggles escaped from her mouth. "Thanks, Neku. But I've got my own cap, so there's no worry there."

"We're gonna stick by you," I said with a reassuring grin. "Count on it! Even if there's not a single hair on your head, I'll still love y–"

Wait, what did I just say?

I stopped talking a little too late. She clearly heard what I had said, and…was it just me, or was she getting warmer? At this point we were practically steaming. She felt so hot I thought for sure that her clothes would catch fire and burn away. …Burn away? No! What kind of stupid thoughts was I having?

An awkward silence fell over us, and she said not a single word. Instead, in a discreet but no less noticeable way, she cuddled closer to me, resting herself against my frame. My heart was doing somersaults.

"Neku, I was just wondering…" She fiddled with her fingers nervously.

Startled, I almost leapt out of the bench. "Yes, Shiki?"

"Well, um, have you ever… kissed someone before?"

Taken completely by surprise, I gaped at the question. "Kissed someone before?" I repeated, parrot-style. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh! I was wondering if you've ever had a girlfriend before…" She looked away in a vain attempt to hide the blush. Her skin was turning a nice shade of pink. "I was also kinda thinking if you're currently attached or – "

I was still single, but it had always been my wish to be Shiki's boyfriend. Her knight in shining armour… And here she was asking me if I was going out with anyone… Was this an indication that she liked me too?

Shiki, becoming thoroughly embarrassed by now, suddenly developed cold feet and retracted her questions. "Ah, well, don't mind me, Neku!" she said with a silly grin on her face. "I don't know what came over me to ask crazy questions like that! Really, just forget about it… it's nothing."

But what she said sounded very interesting. There was no way I could forget about it any time soon. And then I remembered my own wishes…

_You idiot_, I scolded myself in my thoughts, _Shiki might actually be in love with you too. _If the doctor's prognosis was correct, she now had less than a month left. Time was something I was running out of. For that matter, so was she. I decided that I had enough of procrastination. Even if it was only for a month, it was still worth it for both her and I. _Now's your chance, Neku. Go for it!_

Treading carefully, I reversed her own questions back towards her.

"Shiki, do you have a boyfriend?"

"Huh?" Shiki gulped, staring at me with eyes as wide as her round glasses. "What's this about now?"

I pressed further in a bold attempt to dig the truth out. "I'm just curious. So…do you?"

She shook her head vigorously, her silky brown hair swishing from side to side. "No," she stammered, "I… I'm… I don't have a boyfriend."

Maybe I had a chance with her after all… A small smile was creeping onto my lips, but I did my best to fight it back down. I was more reckless with my next question. "I see… Well, do you wish to have a boyfriend, then?"

The redness on Shiki's face intensified in a maroon glow. The heat from her cheeks could be felt just by sitting next to her. Now there was not a spot on her skin that wasn't red. She snapped without answering, "Why must you ask things like this?"

"Hey, we're friends, and we're really close too, right?" I said, allowing myself a slight smirk. "And really close friends aren't afraid to share their innermost secrets."

"But…"

"Shiki," I said, ignoring her futile protests, "do you wish to have a boyfriend?"

"Neku… quit it. This isn't something I'm comfortable with." She struggled to break away, but my strong arm around her kept her in place.

I knew that if I harassed her any more it wouldn't be good for me, so I dropped the "beat-about-the-bush" tactic and went for the most direct approach… and while it was daring and outrageous, it would probably yield the best results… With the right words already in my head, I spoke.

"Well, Shiki, if you must know," I said, nearly biting my tongue from tension, "I…"

Shiki looked at me expectantly.

_I can't turn back now_, I thought, steeling myself for the confession, _I've got to say it!_

And I did.

"Shiki, I love you."

Her owlish stare never left my eyes. She looked at me as though I had gone mad. She was having trouble registering those four words that I just uttered in her mind. To her, it sounded like the most ridiculous thing ever, and in a way it was. But it was the truth, and there was no way I could afford to let such a grand opportunity slip me by!

Seeing how she was so dumbfounded that she wouldn't be saying another word for a few moments to come, I spoke again.

"Shiki, I want you to know that ever since I got to know you – the real you – I've harboured this liking for you." I gazed deep into her soul. "I fell in love with you a long time back, but I never gathered enough courage to tell you until now!"

She just continued to stare at me, incredulous at what was happening to both of us. It would be a while before she found her voice again.

"Neku… I…"

"Shiki?"

"…I've been waiting for this day, Neku…"

"Waiting for… Shiki, do you mean…" My heart was beating so fast it hurt.

Her face completely flushed and eyes avoiding mine in embarrassment, she said, "I love you too, Neku. I love you so, so much. I… want to be with you." There was the smallest of smiles on her lips. Lips I have been yearning for so long to touch with my own…

Shiki loved me. Was this fantasy or reality? Suddenly it became hard to distinguish between the two. _No_, I told myself, resisting the urge to pinch myself on the arm, _this is no dream. She likes me._ This was a freaking miracle. I almost couldn't believe I heard her confession. I felt the need to confirm it again.

"Um, are you certain, Shiki?"

"I am, Neku."

"Really? Are you… uh, truly? Seriously?"

"Neku, do you not like me? I thought you said that yourself only moments ago." She looked a bit hurt. _Great going, Neku. Hurry and put her at ease._

"Of course I love you!" I blurted out, honestly afraid she would start crying and run away. "I like you, I love you. Need I say more?"

"No, that's quite alright. Thanks…"

I unconsciously held her tighter, but she didn't seem to mind. There was one other burning question I had to ask, though…

"Shiki," I said, knowing fully well what to do. "Do you know what it's like to kiss?"

"What?" Shiki jumped in shock at the audacity of my query. "Have you lost your mind, Neku? I'm happy that we confessed our feelings for each other, but don't you think we should be talking about that only when we – mmmmph?"

I cut her off by leaning in quickly and pressing my lips against hers. I couldn't wait. I hated to wait. Especially when it came to things as… urgent… as this. I never liked long-winded answers. And Shiki's reply was decidedly long-winded.

Still kissing her, I brought my other arm around her so that she was completely trapped within my embrace. She turned her body to face me directly and lost no time returning my kisses enthusiastically with that fantastic mouth of hers. So there was such a thing as heaven on earth. She tasted so very sweet… was she wearing watermelon-flavoured lip gloss, perchance? If she did, well, that made making out even more enjoyable. I sucked it all off.

God, I love watermelon. It instantly became my number one favourite fruit.

Her eyes were glazed over when our mouths separated after what seemed like thirty minutes. For all I knew, we could have been kissing for only one, but I guess it had a way of making time seem to slow down.

A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Shiki?" Oh no! Did I do the wrong thing? "I-I'm sorry, Shiki! I couldn't control myself and I was being such a pervert and –"

"Beautiful," she sniffled.

"Huh?"

"That kiss… I've never kissed before… but it was so wonderful…"

"Um, really?" I mumbled sheepishly. "Sorry if it came out awkward."

"It's okay, Neku," Shiki squeaked, her entire body still trembling for obvious reasons. "It was nice. I loved it tremendously. …Did you?"

"Yeah…"

Shiki snuggled against my chest as I hugged her close to me. We stayed like that for a few minutes, finding happiness in our physical closeness and the lingering aftertaste of our very first kiss. All of a sudden, she brought her mouth close to my ear and whispered urgently.

"Neku, c-can we do that again?"

"You mean kissing?"

"Of course."

"I thought you'd never ask," I said, grinning. "But this place is beginning to become more crowded. We should go to a more private spot… like under that willow tree over there?"

"Gosh, that looks romantic," she gushed. "I'd love to kiss there."

"Let's head over there, then," I said, holding her by the hand, leading the way.

Before very long we were partially hidden in the shade of the majestic willow tree, clinging to each other as our mouths danced with each other. Everything we did became a highly synchronized act, surprising considering we had only just gotten started on this minutes ago. Our lips, close to melting, parted and met, plucked at each other and pressed together, all at exactly the right times.

Her body fit perfectly against mine as I circled my arms around the small of her back. She folded hers around my neck. We were pressing so firmly against each other that I could actually feel the firmness of her chest. Shiki moaned into my mouth, and it was by far the sexiest thing I had ever heard in my life. I was close to fainting from the sensation.

Then I heard it. Not her voice, but something else.

_Click_.

Click? Like a camera?

We broke away, alarmed by the sound, and started looking around to find the source. Shiki found it first, crying out in surprise.

"Y-You!" she shrieked, letting go of me in a flash. "What are you doing here, Eri?"

"Aw, you found us out," pouted the culprit, emerging from behind a nearby tree, with her cell phone pointed directly at us. Beside her was Beat and Rhyme, trying their best to stifle their sniggers. "But it's okay. At least I got this lovely picture of you two."

"Picture?" I said dumbly. "Wait, were you snapping photos of us?"

"Right!" Rhyme giggled. "You two look so cute together, and when you started… um, you know… well, we couldn't help preserving that tender moment forever."

"You…" Shiki was livid. "You delete that photo right now, or –"

"Whoops! Gotta bounce, yo!" Beat cried, chortling heartily. As he made good his escape together with his accomplices, he called back over his shoulder, "Carry on! We wouldn't disturb you!" Before Shiki could do so much as take a step, they had bounded away and disappeared from sight altogether, their laughter the only thing left of them.

"God! I could strangle them!" Shiki seethed, her eye twitching. "Come on, Neku! Let's chase after them and get that photo out of Eri's phone!" She sprinted in their direction.

"Shiki, wait!" I called, chasing after her. "You shouldn't be running in your condition!"

"I'm okay, Neku! I'm… Ungh… I'm…"

Barely five meters were covered by her before she slowed down inexplicably and swayed. _She's losing her balance!_ I thought, rushing to her aid and catching her just as she was about to fall backwards.

"Shiki!" Her body was limp and her head lolled to one side, like she was a rag doll. When I checked the colour of her face, there was only the whiteness of pallor. Her face was ghostly and she was groaning in apparent discomfort. "Shiki, what's wrong? Are you alright?"

She shook her head weakly, eyelids partially closed. It didn't take chicken brains to figure out that something was wrong with her. "You need to rest," I said, helping her back to the bench where we had sat earlier. "Can you walk?"

"Maybe… with some difficulty…" her voice was small and weak. Could this be the effects of the cancer taking hold? I knew cancer was bad but I didn't think it could make someone feel faint. This was a very grave situation Shiki was in. I needed to get her back to her house so she could rest.

"Haha… I think… the matter with that… photo… can wait…" Shiki was having trouble talking because of lack of breath.

"Hang on, Shiki," I said, hoisting her arm around my neck to support her. "Let's get you home." Fortunately her house was nearby so walking back wasn't a particularly egregious task for her. She flopped onto her bed as soon as she entered her room. She was so zonked that she didn't seem to take notice that I was in her private sanctuary.

After I asked her how she was feeling for what may have been the fifth time, she smiled at me in an attempt to ward off any worry from my mind. She wasn't convincing at all, though. "I should… be fine… after some rest…" With that she closed her eyes and promptly fell asleep.

Without any confirmation as to whether she would be alright by herself – her parents were out at that time – I took matters into my own hands and decided to stay with her until they returned or until I was sure that she would be fine. I borrowed her chair and sat near the side of her bed, looking intently at her sleeping form.

"Take your time, Shiki," I whispered. "Don't worry, I'll take care of you for now."

She stirred. Did she hear me? No, she probably didn't. Not when she was sound asleep like a log anyway. For that matter, I was growing drowsy myself, and before I could stop myself, I had nodded off.

When I awoke two hours later with a stiff neck, she was still asleep. I could tell things were looking very dim for her. Her deteriorating health practically screamed, _Neku, I'm dying._

As much as I hated to admit it, that was probably the truth.

XOXOXOXOXO

The time had arrived for Shiki to undergo treatment in what would be a valiant but vain attempt to overcome her debilitating bone cancer.

We wished her luck and she was thankful for our support, but at the end of the day, what else could we do? We lacked the power to rid her of her sickness. We couldn't do anything to extend her longevity. All we could do was pray and hope for the best. Suddenly we felt so helpless and useless that we couldn't stand it.

We felt even more so when we saw her lying on her hospital bed, hooked up to a variety of menacing-looking machinery and with practically no life signs. Her weakness was so overpowering that she hardly had enough energy to do anything for herself. Her bob of shiny brown hair – one of the many things I liked about her – was all but gone, an unfortunate side-effect of chemotherapy. Apparently self-conscious, she had hidden her baldness under a baseball cap, and it seemed to do the trick admirably. True, I couldn't suppress a wince when I first laid my eyes on her, but I scolded myself inwardly and got over it quickly.

No matter what, Shiki was still Shiki. She could be bald, unsightly and in a near-vegetative state, but my love for her would never change.

Her eyes had lost much of the shine that made her so pretty to begin with. But she would always have a smile ready for us whenever we came to visit, though it must have taken a gargantuan effort for her. Using whatever energy she could muster, she would make an attempt to talk about normal teenager stuff, and for a little while everything would seem to return to normal again. What made her efforts so remarkable was that we almost totally forgot that she was in a hospital awaiting her next chemo session. Her sunny attitude lifted our spirits and made us feel that, perhaps, she did have a way to bounce back and recover, even though the chances were slim at best. I marveled at her optimism despite great odds. If only I shared such optimism.

In the gloom of the sterile, silent hospital ward, there was a light in it. And that light was Shiki.

But as days turned into weeks, even that light started to dim as she grew increasingly weaker. Her spirit was strong, but even that was starting to lose its grip. She was slipping away…

Then, all too soon, the saddest day of our lives was right in front of us. Nothing could prepare me for it.

I still remember how it went.

The four of us – me along with Eri, Beat and Rhyme – were riding the elevator up to the fourth floor of the hospital, where Shiki was located.

"I think it's pretty obvious by now, guys," said Eri, "but I'm awfully worried about her."

"We're talking about Shiki, right?" I said.

"Yes. Haven't you noticed how frail she has become? Despite repeated treatment, her health isn't improving."

"What's gonna happen to her, yo?" asked Beat, clutching his shoulder.

The elevator stopped at the second floor and a few nurses got onboard. "I hope she'll make it," said Rhyme, fiddling with the too-long sleeve of her shirt.

"It'd be great if she recovered in time for the next Tin Pin slam-off," I mused, "This time it's Shooter against some dark horse called Futoshi. It's touted as the most exciting finals ever. I doubt Shiki would want to miss it."

"Yeah…"

"Well, le's jus' see how she's doin'," said Beat, as the elevator dinged at our destination. Anxious to see Shiki again, we were tempted to jog down the hallway. Every step we took was painfully tough. We were dying to know how she was faring, but at the same time, there was a part of us that didn't want to deal with the harsh reality of matters now.

"Shiki!" Eri cried, a little too loudly, as soon as she stepped foot inside the room. A doctor and a pair of nurses were crowded around our bedridden friend, and upon hearing her they silenced her urgently. The doctor herded us around the doorway and spoke to us in whispers.

"Is Shiki Misaki your friend?" enquired the doctor. "She's in bad shape. We're doing everything we can to help her, but it's looking pretty grim."

A single word escaped from my lips. "No…" Unwilling to believe him, I shoved past him and fell to the side of Shiki's bed. Her eyes were closed but I could tell she was awake. She must have been exhausted from all the treatment. Her baseball cap seemed to cast a bigger shadow on her face than usual, an ominous sign of things to come.

"Shiki," I said. "Shiki, can you hear me?"

As my other pals surrounded her bed, the doctor left the room together with the two nurses to give us some privacy. The door clicked shut.

"Oh my goodness, Shiki," breathed Rhyme. "You look very pale…"

"Are you alright, yo?" Beat practically yelled. "T-Talk to us!"

"Hush, Beat! Not so loud!"

I found her hand and grasped it gently, and the ghost of a smile appeared on her face. But she lacked the energy to respond by squeezing my hand. She was limp, lifeless and hopelessly still. Without opening her eyes, she said, "You're…all… here…"

"Shiki!" Eri immediately burst into tears upon seeing her friend in such a terrible state. "How are you doing? Please tell me you're okay!" She collapsed to her knees on the other side of the bed, grabbing Shiki's free hand and refusing to let go. The Bito siblings stood at the foot of her bed, awaiting her answer.

"I'm a little… under the… weather… but I'll… I'll be fine…" Shiki had to squeeze the words out; she was so weak at this stage.

"You're strong, Shiki," said Beat, afraid for her. "Dontchu give up now, yo!"

The fear in the room was palpable and very real. It was like a fog: thick, heavy and suffocating. Shiki didn't look like she had a fighting chance to live. Her battle against cancer was going downhill. We could liven up her spirits and she could be cheerful all she wanted, but we knew we were losing her.

Shiki's eyes fluttered open. "About that…I can't… I don't think…"

"No, Shiki!" snapped Beat, fighting back tears, "We haven't taken you to the new ramen shop that just opened up! They sell great curry ramen there!"

There was not a dry eye to be found. Even Shiki looked like she realized the hopelessness of it all.

"Everyone… listen…" she spoke, looking at each of us in turn. "I want to thank you guys while I have the chance…" What I really wanted was for her to not talk and conserve the last of her energy. But as these might just be her final words; I couldn't simply stop her. She first turned to Eri to her left. "Eri…"

"Y-Yes, Shiki?"

"You helped me discover my talent and put it to good use. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have gotten started on making clothes. Thanks, Eri, you're amazing."

Tears cascaded freely down Eri's face. "No, I should be the one thanking you, Shiki. You brought my creations to life. And in so doing, you made my hobby – and my life – so much richer. I'm grateful to have been given the chance to work together with you. _You're_ the amazing one. Thank you, Shiki!" She dug her face into her friend's hand and cried her eyes out.

"I guess that makes us even, huh," said Shiki, with the slightest of smiles. "Beat… please do well in everything you do. Never mind if it's your hobby or what… just… don't let me down, okay?"

Beat bowed his head and tried to hide his face. "You don' even need to say it. I'll be the best, yo. You'll see…"

"You too, Rhyme…" said Shiki, addressing the youngest person in our tight little circle of friends. "Your dreams… They're looking for you… You just –" She stopped to catch her breath, after which she continued. "You… just… need to find them…"

"I got it, Shiki…" Rhyme sobbed. "Thank you. Thank you so much for your support all this while. I'm lucky to have met you."

"Neku…"

And now, Shiki turned her attention to me. I waited in anticipation for her words. What did she want to say to me? Suddenly a wave of trepidation gripped me. I've treated her as a good friend as far as I can remember, but was there ever a time when I made her feel bad? A quick scan of my memories revealed nothing. Was there ever anything that I did to sadden her that I forgot?

"Shiki," I blurted, "if I ever did anything wrong to you, if I ever did anything to be a jerk, I… I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

"Silly Neku," she simply muttered, her small smile widening, if only a little, "You've done nothing wrong… The times I spent with you… are the best and happiest that I know of."

Relief washed over me. And while I was already crying, hearing her say that moved me so much that I shed even more tears than usual.

"N-Neku," she coughed, "you… you like CAT's work… don't you?"

"CAT… Yes, of course!" To think Mr Hanekoma was Shibuya's greatest art designer in the guise of a simple café owner. The truth about him totally took me by surprise. I had always been in love with his outstanding art direction, and I was struck by how a single individual could harbour so much creativity. His work directly inspired me to tap into my potential.

"Well, I was thinking since you like CAT and all, maybe… maybe you could apply for a job with his company… Working together with him has always been your dream… am I not right?"

"Yeah… that's true…"

"Then go for it, Neku," she said, shutting her eyes momentarily. "Go for it… and… move mountains…!"

"For you, Shiki, I'll move Mount Everest."

"One more thing, Neku… I… I'd like you to… to have Mr Mew…"

I jumped, startled. "But Shiki!" I protested, "It's your most treasured possession! You can't simply give it away."

"I want you to have it, Neku. This way, you can look at him and think of me. Besides, without me around, he'd be so lonely…"

That last sentence froze me for a second. I'd rather not imagine her not being around. But this was Shiki's wish. The least I could do was to honour it. Shiki took the soft toy that was nestling by her side on the bed and pressed it into my hands.

"I'll take good care of the ol' piggy," I said, graciously accepting her gift.

She chuckled weakly. Hardly a chuckle, but one nonetheless. "He's a cat…"

To my surprise, Rhyme cried out all of a sudden, overcome with emotion. "Don't go, Shiki!" The rivers running down from her eyes she made no attempt to wipe off. This was so unlike her. Then again, in the face of hardship, a lot of people's behaviour can change in unexpected ways. "There are still so many things we have yet to do together!"

"R-Rhyme…" Beat glared at his sister uneasily, as if to say, "Please don't make things harder than they already are."

"Now, Rhyme…" said Shiki in a dazed, dream-like state, "We can do anything we please after all this… is over… I'll be… on my own… two feet in no time… Yes…"

"I'll be looking forward to that, Shiki," sniffled Eri, unable to accept Shiki's doomed fate. "We'll all go to 104, wouldn't we? We can drag Neku and Beat along for the ride too."

"That sounds… great… ugh…"

"Shiki!" I cried, in unison with the other three.

"I don't have much time left, I'm afraid…" she croaked. The machine that she was hooked up to registered a slower heartbeat. _No…This can't be!_ was the thought that came to my mind. It dawned upon us that she was nearing the end of her line. But I wouldn't have any of it! I couldn't bear to let go of her just yet!

"Stay with me, Shiki. Stay with me," I sobbed uncontrollably. "Don't leave us, Shiki. Don't leave me… I care about you the most. I love you, Shiki… I need you! _Please, stay with me!_" I was quickly losing it.

"Shiki! Girl, get a grip on yo' self!" Beat called with heightened urgency.

"I can't do the fashion thing without you, Shiki!" choked Eri, "We're a team… We're partners!"

"I'm so sorry, everyone…" Shiki said, tears falling freely. "I thoroughly enjoyed every moment we spent together… but… it looks like… this may be farewell…"

"No… No!"

"Neku… Eri… Beat… Rhyme… thank you so much… I love you all…"

"Shiki..." I called her name. "Shiki!"

"…Good…bye…"

"SHIKI!"

Shiki's eyes closed for the last time. Beside her, that infernal machine played the most horrendous noise I had ever heard in my life.

_Beeeeeeep._

Only silence filled the room once the beeping noise stopped. Eri was the first to speak after a while.

"Rest well, partner," she wept, her body quivering as she wrapped her arms around herself. Rhyme couldn't utter a single word.

It couldn't be… This wasn't how things were supposed to end… Completely in denial, I shook her by the shoulder, lightly at first, then a bit rougher, while I chanted her name. Over and over and over.

"Shiki. Shiki, wake up… You can't go to sleep yet! Shiki! Shiki!"

"S-Stop it, yo!" Beat locked his arms around my chest and dragged me away from the bed. I tried to fight back against him, against the reality, but it was useless. No matter how many times I yelled her name, no matter how many tears I shed for her, she wasn't coming back.

Shiki had passed on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Starcrossed (Part 3)  
**by BrDPirateMan

The streets of Shibuya were jam-packed with people of varying backgrounds and lives. I bet that underneath each of their faceless masks they had quite a story to tell.

Just like me, as I stood leaning against the Statue of Hachiko.

It had already been seven days since Shiki died. And seven days was the amount of time needed to run each week of the Reapers' Game. I was clinging to the hope that she was somewhere in the UG taking part in it, working hard to win so we could meet in person and be together again. The Statue of Hachiko was the place where Beat, Rhyme, Shiki and I met for the first time in the RG. That was why I was waiting here. The Reapers' Game would be over any moment now, and if she won, I was confident she would head here first.

She had waited for me patiently for two whole weeks in the Reaper's Game... anticipating the moment when I would finally rescue her from the hell that was the UG. Now it was my turn to wait for her. It ate at me that I could not help her for the simple fact that we were both in different planes. All I could do was sit tight and hope for the best.

But when the evening rolled in, there was still no sight of Shiki. No bespectacled girl with a bob of brown hair, dressed in black and green, came bounding over to say hi to me. As I tore down the streets with tears in my eyes, I began to wonder if she had been cast in the Game again for a grueling second week, much like my case. But I couldn't ignore the possibility that she did not make it and was erased… gone forever…

My dear Shiki… No more… There would be no way I could mend the bleeding hole in my heart.

The next day at school I did nothing but stand on the rooftop by myself, taking in the view of Shibuya, Shiki being the only thing I could think of. I was cutting classes, I knew, but I didn't care. In my mind's eye I replayed every event, every little precious moment that happened between us while she was still alive. Her voice, echoing and distant, was speaking to me in various flashbacks.

_I'm so glad you're concerned about my welfare._

_Well, um, have you ever… kissed someone before?_

_Oh! I was wondering if you've ever had a girlfriend before…_

_That kiss… I've never kissed before… but it was so wonderful…_

_Gosh, that looks romantic. I'd love to kiss there._

My hands found their way to my trembling mouth as I recalled the sensation of Shiki's lips on my own as we embraced under the willow tree at Miyashita Park. Indeed, like she said, it was very romantic. If it weren't for Eri and her troupe of paparazzis, we could have kissed for hours and hours.

Giddiness overcame me as I stewed with regret – I should have confessed earlier. I would have saved us both a lot of heartache and given us a sense of direction. Everything would have been fine if I wasn't such a coward…

Suddenly I was aware of a presence behind me. I half-expected it to be Shiki, and a glimmer of hope rose inside me. But only Eri stood before me when I turned to look. My heart sank again.

Her face was caring but forlorn. The first thing she did was apologise. "Sorry, Neku, if I was intruding on your thoughts."

"No, it's okay," I mumbled. I wished the collar of my shirt was big enough for me to hide my face in. I just didn't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. I just needed some space.

"Thinking about Shiki, huh," she said in a flat tone.

Even without any reply whatsoever on my part, she understood. She stroked my arm gently, trying to soothe the pain and suffering. I closed my eyes and tried to pretend it was Shiki who was touching me, but I couldn't. Eri could only be Eri and no one else. No one could replace the one and only Shiki Misaki.

"Tell me, Neku," she said, "and I know this will sound annoying, but… do you like Shiki? As in, really, really, really like her?"

"I love her. So much it aches."

Normally, with such questions, I would invariably deny having a crush on Shiki. Just over three months ago Eri and Beat were teasing me about being her "husband", and it was terribly mortifying. But now, in the wake of the untimely demise of my first love, I didn't care anymore. It was better to be honest about my feelings. There was less emotional strain that way.

"I figured as much…" She bit her lip, seemingly caught up in deep thought. Shiki and Eri were best friends for longer than my own friendship with Shiki. Eri must have been thinking about all the times they shared together, designing and making clothes in their goal to become the ultimate trendsetters of Shibuya. Now that half of the dynamic duo was gone, goodness knows how crushed she must feel.

"By the way, Neku, I got you something," she said, digging into her bag. She fished out an envelope and handed it to me.

"What is this?"

"Open it and you'll see."

So I did. Inside was a photograph, which showed a couple in a tight embrace, focused in a deep kiss. It took me a few seconds to recognize who the boy and girl were. "This is a photo of… me and Shiki? Is this the one you secretly took at Miyashita Park?"

"Yeah," she muttered, scratching the back of her neck. "Sorry about that. But listen, Neku, I'm not here to tease you or anything. But you were clearly in love with each other. I want you to keep this photo so you can remember her by."

All the memories that I forged together with Shiki flooded back and tears started to fall on the photo. My tears.

"Shiki…" I grew weak all of a sudden and I crumpled to my knees, clutching the photo protectively and weeping painfully. Eri joined me by my side to take another long look at the scene of me kissing Shiki, that love-filled moment forever captured on film.

"Neku, I'm sad too. We all are," she said, wrapping her arms around me, her body racked with sobs. "But… we can't dwell on the past. I'm not saying that we're going to forget her – in fact, we will remember her – but we must also enjoy the present while looking to the future. For her sake."

My voice was too shaky to utter a single word.

"Shiki wouldn't want us to wallow in sadness for too long," she added, rubbing her tears away.

She was right. It just wasn't done feeling sorry about myself forever or pining over a fate that cannot be undone. There would be no meaning in my life if I kept being saddened by this. Wasn't I forgetting my own principles already? _Live in the now_. Remember the past, look to the future, but always remember to live in the now. Besides, if Shiki knew that I was not taking my own advice, she would be very sad.

When my throat finally regained function, I whispered to her, "Eri… th-thanks." She said nothing and gave me a brief but warm hug.

Yes, I would live in the now for Shiki. I still loved her and it pained me to lose her, but I swore that I would be sad no longer.

XOXOXOXOXO

That photo, so precious to me, remained in a safe but accessible place so I could take it out and look at it whenever I felt like it. As it turned out, I looked at it quite often to lose myself in the comforting memories that it held.

Shiki's plushie Mr Mew sat on the dressing table. It was always by her side, a lifelong companion and silent friend, but without its original master it looked so pensive. Psychomancy granted it life and a will to fight back when Shiki was my partner in the UG, and as a result I'd never been able to look at it as a mere, lifeless toy. No. Piggy was more than that.

Maybe it'd get used to me in time.

Two weeks had now passed since that fateful day. Life was beginning to right itself. Slowly, but surely, I was mending the deep gashes in my heart. Time heals. I still went out for lunch together with all my buddies – Eri, Beat and Rhyme. But we haven't been able to bring ourselves to go watch a movie or attend a concert with just the four of us. We always felt that Shiki would miss out, even though she clearly was no longer around. It would take time for us to get over that. But that's perfectly fine.

One night just before I was about to go to bed, I looked at my treasured photograph again. A smile curled up on my lips as I thought back to how wonderful it was to kiss Shiki.

"Oh, Shiki," I sighed.

"Hey, Neku, you called me?"

"What? Who's there?" Startled, and thinking it was a burglar who had broken in, I swiftly spun round to face the unwelcome visitor. My heart almost stopped from shock.

"Shiki!" I cried out, fumbling in my chair. There she was, sitting at the edge of the bed, in her usual slim green jacket and black capri pants, looking at me as she tucked her beautiful brown hair behind her ear. Was I seeing things? Was I hearing things? I rubbed my eyes and blinked several times, but she remained where she sat. This was no hallucination. This was real, but what was she doing here when she was no longer in this world?

"I see you've been taking good care of Mr Mew," she giggled, holding the soft toy up to examine it and hugging it like she always did. "Aww, are you sad, Mr Mew? Did you miss me?" she cooed, gazing into its eyes. "Don't worry, Neku is a good guy. He's kind and he wouldn't hurt you." Oblivious to my gaping mouth, she gave it a really tight squeeze before setting it back down on the dressing table where it had been sitting.

"I missed you so much, Neku," she said in a soft, soothing voice. "That's why I'm here to see you. I'm glad to see you're coping."

"Shiki, you… you're de– uh, I mean, you already… passed away..." I rose from my chair and she stood up too so we could meet face-to-face again. I walked over to her and gently grasped her by the arms. My hands did not go through her, she was solid, so was she a ghost or not? "What happened? I thought you had died!"

"I'm sorry, Neku, but that is still the truth," she said, the gleam in her eyes shiny and bright, yet sad. "I'm not alive anymore. Not on this plane anyway."

"On this plane?" I knew what it could mean. "Then… You must still be a Player in the Reapers' Game! Am I right?"

"Oh, no, nothing like that. Let me explain," she chuckled, motioning me to sit with her on my bed. We sat facing directly at each other, cross-legged. Even in the perplexing knowledge that she was talking to me despite being dead, her presence was warm and comforting, filling me with a sense of security and happiness. She seemed to be back to her healthy self too. I listened intently to what she had to say.

"Neku, people who die of unnatural causes are eligible to participate in the Reapers' Game. It is so that they may have a second chance at life and pick up where they were stopped so rudely. But cancer is not an unnatural cause."

"Can you join the Game?"

"No," she said, tracing circles on the bed sheet with her finger, "Like I said, I died from a _natural_ cause. I was barred from taking part."

"But… But then it means you can't return to life!" I spluttered, growing restless and uneasy. She placed her index finger on my lips to calm me down, which I eventually did, and continued.

"True, I can no longer enter the Reapers' Game. So instead I was given a ticket straight to the HG."

"The… HG?"

"It stands for HighGround. Just like how UG stands for UnderGround and RG for RealGround, right? Well, the HG is more commonly known as Heaven."

"You're in Heaven?" I could hardly believe what I was hearing. "So that means… you're an Angel or something?"

"Sharp, Neku!" she praised, ruffling my hair playfully. "Here, I'll prove it to you in case you still don't believe me."

To my surprise she floated off the bed and a pair of white feathery wings sprouted from behind her back. A cry of "Whoa!" escaped from my lips. Her wings were bathed in a soft glow. She really was an Angel now, a denizen of Heaven. I never doubted her words for a minute, but now that she showed me irrefutable proof, I was totally convinced.

"Like them?" she chuckled, floating back down on the bed. She spread her wings fully for me to see.

"They're gorgeous," I breathed, transfixed by their unearthly beauty. "May I touch them?"

"Sure," she chirped, extending a wing. "Be my guest!"

With nervous trembling hands I reached out to feel her left wing. So this was how an Angel's wing felt like? It was very light; hardly any weight at all. Each feather was smooth and silky to the touch, and pleasantly warm. Angels' wings looked so different and so much better than the black ominous tattoo ones that adorned Reapers' backs in the Game.

As I caressed it slowly, I noticed that Shiki was purring contentedly, with her eyes closed. "Shiki? Uh… what's up?" _What's with her?_

"That feels nice, Neku," she sighed. "I can feel your fingers running up and down…"

What she said could very well have been a double entendre. A rather dirty thought sprang to mind and my cheeks blazed with colour. She noticed and smirked, "Neku, don't tell me you're getting perverted thoughts just from touching my wing…"

"Sorry," I said. Wait, why was I apologizing?

"Though I have to admit, what you're doing is very, very soothing. Do it some more, please."

"So… uh… you've got, like, nerve endings on them?" I asked, enjoying the texture as much as she was enjoying the massage.

"They are sensitive to touch… something I found out early on," she said. "Interesting, wouldn't you say?"

Suddenly she noticed something that was lying on the bed beside me. "Hmm? What's this?"

"Oh, um, this?" It was the photo that I was looking at earlier. I handed it to her, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. "E-Eri took that photo of us. Remember? We were kissing under the willow tree at Miyashita Park."

"I do remember," she gushed, cheeks flushed at the memory as she stared at it. "It was the sweetest thing. When you confessed that you loved me, I was so happy. It had always been my wish that we could be together."

"When you think about it," I said thoughtfully. "Eri's prank turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I've got to thank her."

Suddenly she looked serious, and her knitted brows told me she was troubled by something, or at least concerned about it.

"Neku, I can only remain in the RG for a limited period of time before I have to go back to the HG," she said, "I can't waste any more time. If you don't mind, I… I'd like to…"

"Shiki?"

She hesitated. "Well…Can you kiss me?"

I leaned forward until our foreheads were touching. A blush was steadily creeping onto her face, and it made her look so cute. "Shiki, nothing else would make me happier."

"Me too," she whispered, after which she took my face in her hands and locked her lips with mine.

We basically re-enacted our very first kiss: my hands around her waist, her arms around my neck and the freshest of kisses to grace our lifetimes. We started out slow but before we knew it, we were smooching deeper and quicker. I fell onto my back on the bed, pulling Shiki with me. Her pure iridescent wings draped over both of us as she laid her body right on top of mine, her curves fitting perfectly against my frame. Dizziness was threatening to overcome me as her hair tickled my face and her nice, soft chest pressed against me. Every kiss that connected fueled our appetites for each other, and… oh god, it was heaven on earth… quite literally.

Minutes filled with unadulterated bliss flew by. I honestly didn't know how long we spent exchanging hungry kisses. But all good things must come to an end at some point. Shiki slowed down to a crawl before prying her lips away from my mouth at last.

"Neku… I'm afraid my time is up. I have to go…"

"Shiki? Wait, Shiki, no," I sputtered, unwilling to let go of her, "I don't want to lose you again."

"You wouldn't, Neku," she smiled. "I'll always be watching over you." In her signature chirpiness she quipped, "Think of me as your guardian angel."

"But… will I see you again?" I asked, letting her climb off of me.

"The HG has many strict rules," she explained, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching me join her at her side. "I can visit the RG anytime I like, but I cannot materialize like now whenever I wish. I can only do that on certain occasions, or with special permission. And it's not something I can get so easily."

"Then… I can't see you everyday…" I was sad that she had to leave, but at the same time I was looking forward to the next time we could meet.

"Don't worry, Neku… I'll visit you again like this. That's a promise. In the meantime, you can still talk to me in your mind," she said, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "I'll be able to hear you, and you can hear me too. We can talk anytime you like, assuming I'm not busy with HG-related matters."

"You sound like you have a lot on your hands, Shiki."

"Life as an Angel isn't just about milk and honey. We have tasks to perform too.

"One more thing, Neku, and maybe I should have said this from the start," she continued, "I… I actually have a request."

"Anything," I said, ready to hear her out.

"It's perfectly fine to feel sad, but when I see you so sad, that makes me sad too. So… I want you to be happy, Neku. Can you promise me that at least?" Then she added, with some jest, "No moping allowed. No brooding and all that emo stuff either. Remember, I'm watching you."

I chuckled softly, feeling much better from her kind words. "I promise you that I'll be the happiest person on the planet. You have my word on that."

"Just don't be so happy you end up looking like a fool… or some kinda pervert," she giggled.

"Heh. Oh, by the way…" I shoved my precious photo into her hands. "Please take this."

"What? But it's your only photo of us," she said, slightly alarmed. "You should keep it."

"Knowing Eri, she's probably still keeping the photo data in her phone. I can get her to print a copy for myself."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

Filled with joy, Shiki pounced on me for a bear hug. "Thank you so much, Neku!" she squealed, "I got mad back then, but on hindsight, it's awfully cute!" It was obvious that she loved it a great deal. Seeing her so cheery again made me so glad.

"I feel that way too, Shiki…" I could feel the skin on my face growing warmer.

We gazed into each other's eyes lovingly for a while before I spoke again.

"Shiki, you make me feel so complete. I love you so much."

"Neku, I love you too. I'll always love you. Forever."

Shiki leaned into my face again, giving me our last kiss for the night. She gently pushed me back onto the bed, and as she did so, I felt an overwhelming urge to sleep. I tried to fight it, but found myself failing. As my eyelids drooped closed, I saw Shiki smile at me and her entire body seemed to glow white.

After that, darkness overcame me.

XOXOXOXOXO

I woke up to a relatively ordinary morning. Shiki was nowhere to be seen. Did she return to the HG where she now belonged? As I sat up in bed, going through the previous night's events, I had trouble wondering whether they were real or I was indeed hallucinating.

The display of my alarm clock read half past seven. Well, it was a Saturday, and with no classes to go to, I was inclined to rest in bed for a few more minutes. I just didn't feel like getting out yet. Well, I would eventually, to ask Eri to print another copy of that memorable photo.

However, something caught my attention. It was resting on top of the alarm clock. To my surprise it was a single white feather. I carefully picked it up and examined it closely, finding it to be about six inches long, soft to the touch and beautiful in an otherworldly way. Where could it have come from? Could it have been…?

I also noticed a folded piece of paper, resting on the clock, with "_To Neku from Shiki_" written on the top. I proceeded to unfold it and was greeted by a mass of words neatly written with a blue ballpoint pen.

I recognized the handwriting. As I expected, it was Shiki's.

_Dearest Neku,_

_If you're reading this I have already gone back to the HighGround. But don't worry, I'm not gone from your life forever. I may even find the time to visit you in person._

_After my experience in the Reapers' Game, I learnt never to take things for granted. That is why, when I'm hanging out with you, Eri, Beat and Rhyme, I treasure every moment and I feel so free. You are the best friends I could ever have._

_Likewise, our romantic relationship, though short in my RG time, is something I hold very dear to my heart. It was one of the best things to ever happen to me. Thank you again for all our wonderful times together._

_Neku, even though I no longer exist in the RG, know that I'm always watching you, protecting you. Not just you but all our friends. I have sworn to do this much as an Angel. But if you're feeling lonely, don't hesitate to talk to me telepathically. Don't count on me for miracles though! At the end of the day, you're responsible for your life. I'm not going to make money fall from the skies for you. Heh heh. :D_

_Thanks again for the lovely photograph. I will treasure it forever. Oh, did you see the feather I left you? It came from my wings. It's just a little memento of our relationship. Think of it as a good luck charm._

_Your smile has lifted many a grey day for me. So keep smiling. Do me proud and promise me you'll stay happy. I love you. See you soon._

_Shiki XOXO_

By the time I reached the last sentence I was powerless to stop the tears from falling. Right then and there, I made a silent vow to honour all of Shiki's wishes.

"Yes, I'll make you proud, Shiki," I whispered into the air. "You just watch, I'm gonna accomplish all my goals, reach my dreams… and I'll make us both happy."

Wiping my face dry, I suddenly had a thought.

"By the way, Shiki," I said aloud, "you can hear me, can't you?"

And at that moment, I wasn't too sure, but I could have sworn I heard her sweet angelic voice inside my head, giggling, "Of course, you dummy!"


End file.
